


Don't Know a Thing About Evil

by mywholecry



Series: endless, barely connected vigilante 'verse [2]
Category: Bandom, Phantom Planet, Young Veins
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywholecry/pseuds/mywholecry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I thought you liked doing graffiti with me,” Ryan says. He doesn’t really know why Alex needs more than that. People hardly ever get caught for vandalizing property, and there’s, like, 400% less chance that Alex will get thrown in jail. Plus, he gets to run around with <i>Ryan</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Know a Thing About Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Second in a series of barely connected ficlets where everyone from Disney’s in a vigilante hero collective and most members of bandom are a very unorganized group of supervillains. No emphasis on the super.

Alex says, “So, I thought I might rob a bank?” and looks across the room at Ryan, who doesn’t look up. He’s busy. Their air-conditioning went out, and being evil really doesn’t pay, not if you want a salary you can live off of, so Ryan’s been poking it with a fork for the last fifteen minutes as a last resort before dying of heat stroke.

He hears the groaning sound of the recliner as Alex gets up.

“Maybe,” Alex says, “if you get electrocuted from that, you’ll get, like, shock powers.”

“. . .like what?” Ryan asks, dropping his head back to gaze up at where Alex is standing over him, hands on his hips.

Alex hums. “I don’t know, some Pikachu kind of shit.”

Ryan says, “I don’t really want that,” and, “Could I control lightening instead?” He throws the fork to the side and holds up a hand for Alex to help him up.

“So,” Alex says, ignoring him, “I thought I might rob a bank.”

“Yeah, I heard.”

“Questions, comments?” Alex asks, while Ryan sighs and gets up on his own, bracing himself with two hands on Alex’s shoulders.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I mean, you’ve only ever shop-lifted from WalMart.”

“But that was before I was a villain, right,” Alex says. “I need to up my game.”

“I thought you liked doing graffiti with me,” Ryan says. He doesn’t really know why Alex needs more than that. People hardly ever get caught for vandalizing property, and there’s, like, 400% less chance that Alex will get thrown in jail. Plus, he gets to run around with _Ryan_.

“Oh, dude,” Alex says, “I _do_.”

He kind of pets Ryan on the side of his face, which would be weird if it wasn’t Alex and if Ryan didn’t really kind of like it.

“The most evil thing Pete’s ever done is take pictures of his dick and leak them on the internet,” Ryan says, “and he’s our _crime lord._ You don’t need to rob a bank just because you’re new.”

“I kind of want to be infamous, though,” Alex says. “A little bit.”

Ryan thinks about it. Alex still has fingers resting against his jaw, so he doesn’t think about it for long, leaning more into the touch.

“I was thinking,” he says, “of spray-painting Jewel lyrics on the new bank. That’s. . .kind of like robbing it.”

“Like, of its dignity?”

“I appreciate Jewel,” Ryan says. He's not completely lying, because she has _moments_ , and _Pieces of You_ was really underrated. “Her lyrics speak to me on a deep emotional level."

"Well," Alex says, moving his hand to hold onto Ryan's wrist, smiling. "I guess I could help you out with that."

"Good." Ryan steps into Alex's space, so he can lean up and press a dry kiss to his cheek.

"I mean, I would hate to abandon you," Alex continues, pulling him into a hug. "I know that you're sensitive, Ross, and that you'd like to stay that way."

If Alex didn't give such good hugs, Ryan would totally punch him or refuse to let him in on his evil plans. But, yeah. He's a pretty good hugger.


End file.
